Category Archives: Life

Life, Love and Marriage

A Key To A Happy Muslim Marriage

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Muslim couple, sunset

A happy Muslim couple

Jumah mubarak my lovelies! I hope that you are all doing well on this Friday inshallah. I have been doing a lot of fashion/style/beauty posts so I decided to do a Muslim lifestyle blog post today on marriage. I wanted to do it on a topic that I think is super important because I feel like young Muslim couples are being pushed more than ever to part over things that may not be worth fighting over. Just as a background, I will be celebrating my own 4 year anniversary with the Hubster next week inshallah. Over those years, I had to learn a few things the HARD way. I wanted to share one of the key elements that I found my own marriage much happier.

One of the things that I noticed that really affected my marriage was nagging. Yes, ladies, while nagging works in the short term, one of the awful long term effects is that your husband starts to resent it (and maybe even you) and then he will start to ignore you and tune you out. It is tempting to resort to nagging, but let me tell you, it is not worth it if it will poison your marriage over time. If there are any brothers reading this, let me also tell you that while your wife may be driving you crazy with her nagging, you need to critically think about why she is nagging too. Does she have a valid point? Then just do yourself a favor and listen to what your wife is trying to say.

At this point, I try not to nag, but if something is bothering me or is important, I let the Hubster know. Since I am not a chronic nagger, he actually takes what I say seriously and listens (for the most part….I still have not won my war against socks on the floor…if there is a wife who has please let me know your secret!). One of the most important things I learned from my older married couples is that you need to stop nagging because it makes your husband feel like a child. When he feels like a child, he will act like one which is not what either of you want.

How do you stop nagging? Here are some tips:

  • Notice what your husband is doing right. Does he call you to tell you he loves you? Does he make the bed for you? Does he change the oil in your car? My Hubster always surprises me with flowers, helps with the baby, and does other little things. When I feel tempted to nag, I remind myself of ALL of these good things.
  • Is the thing you want to nag him about a recurring issue? If it is a recurring issue that is important to you, you should talk it over with your husband. However, if this is a bad habit that is not going to break, assess if this is something you can live with. For me, rather than nag about socks on the floor, I just pick them up and put them away.
  • Tell your husband you love him. I sometimes forget how express how much I care for my husband. I have started to remind myself that just because he is a man, doesn’t mean he needs any less love than I do.

I hope these tips help you in some way, and that we can all be blessed with happy marriages. Are there are any tips you have? Let me know in the comments box!

Life

Must See: Downton Abbey

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As a busy hijabi mommy who works full time and juggles inlaws, I never have time to see movies. I WISH I could see The Hobbit! (I am such a huge JRR Tolkien nerd. I read all the appendices including how Arwen met Aragorn).

But I digress.

As a result, I spend a lot of evenings at home watching TV with my little family. One of my newest TV obsessions hails from the UK.

The UK is not only been home to some of the most gorgeous hijabis ever, but one of the best television dramas I have seen. Downton Abbey is not only family friendly, it’s also addictive.

From the complex plot lines to the ornate costumes (I would kill to wear Mary Crawley’s evening dresses), Downton Abbey has it all.

If you are bored on a Sunday pull this one up on Netflix or catch the current season on PBS. It is family entertainment at its best.

After you watch it, let me know who your faves are and who you think the baddies are. 🙂

Islam, Life

Tragedy In Sandy Hook

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I am too sad for words about what has happened in Newtown, CT. I don’t have the energy to blog about this, but I wanted to leave you with some thoughts. Let’s love each other. Let’s be kind to one another. Let’s stop being petty. Let’s make sure we are kind to children and the elderly. Let’s get more involved with our communities.

In the Quran, God tells us:

If anyone slew a person unless it be for murder or for spreading mischief in the land it would be as if he slew the whole humanity: and if anyone saved a life it would be as if he saved the life of the whole humanity. (Al-Qur’an 5:32)

A human life is precious indeed.

Beauty, Life

Say Eye Do And Receive A Free Trial From CooperVision And The Chance to Win An Annual Supply of Contact Lenses

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People are busier than ever in today’s fast and furious world. Whether you’re a working professional by day and parent by night or stay-at-home parent balancing carpools and soccer practices, the typical 8-hour day is a thing of the past. I know that as a working professional, blogger about hijabi life, and as a full time mama, I wish I had more hours in the day!

It’s important that your contact lenses stay comfortable all day long, and CooperVision wants you to do it all…in comfort

CooperVision and Katy Atlas – well-known author of Sugar Laws, a blog about fashion, food and beauty – partnered to launch the Eye Do It All campaign, featuring a series of “how to” videos focused on providing quick and easy tips for updating your look to keep up with trending styles.

Now CooperVision contact lens wearers have a chance to tell us how their contact lenses help them “do it all” by posting on CooperVision’s Facebook page, or sending a quick photo or video.

Users whose posts are selected as winners will receive an annual supply of contact lenses, so that they can keep doing it all with CooperVision comfort.

So what are you waiting for? If you still haven’t tried CooperVision contact lenses, visit CooperVision’s Facebook page now and say “Eye Do” to the CooperVision Challenge to receive a free trial. I know I love my own CooperVision contact lenses. They are so comfortable and they last as long as I do.

Life

Let Noor Shine: Noor Tagouri

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I hope my readers had a wonderful weekend! I wanted to share a personal story with you. Since I started this Muslim lifestyle blog, I have gotten tremendous support. It has been amazing how this little blog has attracted thousands of you readers. The response has uplifted me and I wanted to say thank you. From my own experience, I see how the power of support can help us all achieve our dreams. There is a very young (but very talented) hijabi named Noor Tagouri that I wanted to tell you all about.

She is trying to be the first American hijabi news anchor and I think that we can help her. Even though she is much younger than most of us, she is definitely an inspiration for me and I hope she will be for you too.  Check out her video below:

Let’s help Noor achieve her dreams iA!

Life

How To Know If You Are A Hater

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It’s been a while since I wrote a life based post, but I have noticed a very scary trend going on in Instagram and Facebook. There are sisters who may mean well (or not) going out and attacking their sisters in Islam with inappropriate and rude comments.

This disheartens me because in Islam, we are recommended to love each other. In fact, envy and jealousy are hated in Islam. In the Quran, we ask Allah (swt) to protect us from evils including the envy of the envier:

“And from the evil of the envious when he envies.” (Surah 113 Ayah 5)

Jealousy and envy are seen as self destructive and were discouraged in Islam.

The Prophet (saws) said:

“Beware of jealousy, for verily it destroys good deeds the way fire destroys wood.” (Abu Dawood)

So why is it that there are some sisters turning into haters on social media? Perhaps you may be one and not even know. Here are some clues that you may be a hater:

1) A hater is jealous. A hater will spread lies, gossip and generally focus on the business of others since they don’t have much to focus on in their own lives.

If this sounds like you, get a hobby! Paint, blog, memorize Quran. Focus on your own family iA. Be productive and this bad quality will fall away iA.

2) A hater can not stand hearing anyone else praised. If you have a gut reaction to nay say when another person says something nice about another sister, then you are being a hater.

Say Mashallah and move along! We can’t be the best at everything and surely we must appreciate the good things others have to offer.

If you worry that someone else envies you, remember that the Sunnah recommends that you give this envious person gifts, shake their hands and say salaam (greetings) to them. This may dispel any feelings of hate that the envier has iA.

3) Haters love to gossip. This is another really bad quality that is highly discouraged in Islam. I know it’s hard, but gossip is really terrible. In fact, the Prophet (saws) compares gossiping with eating the dead flesh of your brothers and sisters in Islam. Gossiping is a hater’s way of getting attention from others even if it hurts people in the process.

Stop gossiping! I know I am guilty of this one big time. Luckily, my friends try to follow a no gossip rule so rather than encouraging this, they will change the subject to a neutral topic. Ask your family and friends to do the same. It helps defuse this bad habit.

4) Haters love to compare what they have with others. Even if the other people don’t even know it.

Focus on your own blessings iA. We all have them. Don’t be busy counting the blessings of others.

5) Haters love to see others down. Nothing gives them more joy than seeing other people suffer. This is the complete opposite of how Islam recommends us to be. We are supposed to love for others what we love for ourselves.

If you have read this and see some qualities of yourself in any of these, pray to God to help you because these issues will eat away at you. Ask your friends and family for help. There is always hope, but remember that the change starts with you. I hope this post helps you and remember that I love you all.

Life

Be Grateful For What You Have: Thanksgiving

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Source: etsy.com via Renee’s on Pinterest

It’s my favorite time of year because it is the time of year that family and friends have time to gather around the table and be grateful for what you have. Now, there is some confusion about whether Muslims should celebrate Thanksgiving. I know that I offended some of you readers by explaining why I personally don’t celebrate Halloween, but in my house, we have always celebrated Thanksgiving. Why is that?

It is because there is no religious context to this national holiday. Since I am an American, I grew up with Thanksgiving. In fact, I celebrate Thanksgiving and see it as a valuable way for people to get together and share and learn about the beauty of our faith. For those of you who are still on the fence about Thanksgiving and Islam, here is Imam Suhaib Webb’s opinion along with the opinions of some different madhabs on the topic of Thanksgiving. If you are a revert to Islam, use this time to spend being a part of your family even if your faiths differ.

Also, it is always nice to count the blessings of having a warm hot meal when so many of our sisters and brothers are struggling in places like Syria and Gaza. At your table, please take a moment to pray for them. Here are my final thoughts, In the Quran, Allah (swt) says:

If you count Allah (swt)’s blessings, you cannot possibly encompass them. Allah (swt) is Forgiver, Most Merciful. (16:18)

So let’s use Thursday as a chance to attempt to be grateful for the blessings we can’t even account for.

Life, Yummy Treats

Beating My Sugar Addiction

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Salaam readers! I have been away from my blog a few days because I have to make a confession: I put myself in rehab over an addiction I have had since my teen years: a sugar addiction.

I hadn’t realized it, but I was walking around a bulk of my day on a sugar high. Literally, I would start my morning off with a sugar laced latte, frosted granola bar, and cap off my day with desserts and sugary treats throughout the day.

I noticed I would literally twitch if I did not get my fix.

Then, I read this article in Women’s Health Magazine about the harmful effects of sugar and it made me realize how harmful I was being to my body.

In Islam, Muslims are commanded by God to take care of their bodies:

“But waste not by excess for God loves not the wasters” (Quran 7:31).

“Eat of the good things we have provided for your sustenance, but commit no excess therein, lest my wrath should justly descend on you, and those on whom descends my wrath do perish indeed” (Quran 20:81).

I was not following these commandments if I was stuffing my face with sugar! I knew I had to do something.

So I made a pact with my Hubster to literally stop my addiction in its tracks by going cold turkey. No more Starbucks, no more Godiva, no more home made cookies, no more extra sugar in my life.

All halal (permissible in Islam) foods are permitted in moderation, but I knew I needed a detox which is why I personally cut out sugar. In the WH article, doctors explain that like any other addiction, you need more and more sugar in order to maintain the same pleasurable rush you get when you eat sugar. So in order to get back my sensitivity to sugar, I have cut it out completely except in fruits.

Eating fruits gives you fiber and essential nutrients. It is also pointed out in the Quran:

“And from the fruits of date palm and grapes you get wholesome drink and nutrition: Behold in this is a sign for those who are wise” (Quran 16:67).

So for now, when I crave any thing sweet, I am reaching for an apple instead of chocolate. It’s been hard, but alhamdulillah, I feel more energy. Another bonus is weight loss since I am eating less calories in general.

So if you are like me and you crave sweets, try a piece of fruit and your body will thank you.

Islam, Life

Tears That Soften The Heart

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I noticed that in America, crying is seen as a sign of weakness. It is what helpless beings like babies do. In fact, when you complain about something, people often retort “Don’t be a cry baby!”

I have also noticed that as I get older, my heart is getting softer. Very seldom can I mention my nani or nana (maternal grandparents) without crying. They played a huge role in shaping who I have become. I cry when I remember my parents’ sacrifices in raising myself and my siblings. I cry in prayer, I even cry when I watch movies like Wreck It Ralph.

At first, I was embarrassed. I mean who wants to be known as a cry baby?

But then I realized that some of my tears are actually washing away the dust in my heart. Some of my tears are good for me. Now, I don’t claim to hold any special sway with Allah (swt), but I have noticed that my tears have helped me have more empathy than I ever had in my teens and twenties!

I can admire people like my older sister and my cousin Nipa because they have sacrificed a lot to be working moms. When I cry to Allah in my duas about hoping my little girl grows up to be a good person, I think of them and I can admire them. As a single girl, I had less empathy.

I used to wonder why my grandma used to cry all the time. Now I know why. It is because I realize that this life is short and we need to appreciate what we have in this life and prepare for the next. The Prophet (saws) used to cry in prayer.

Great men and women cry over important things.

In fact, one of the most moving moments of the Obama campaign came when Obama cried while thanking his staffers after he found out he won.

So I guess being a cry baby isn’t so bad after all.