Confessions of a Jealous Hijabi

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I have a confession to make. Typically I am so positive and encouraging, but I noticed a really ugly feeling that welled up in myself recently.

I noticed I was getting jealous of one of my fellow hijabi bloggers! I mean it happens. One of the things that bugged me is how it seems that fashionistas always make a big fuss over thinner bloggers than curvy ones. I mean I get it, clothes look better on skinnier girls, but it depressed me a little to see it matters among the hijabi set too!

I know it’s only human, but I felt terrible. I wanted to celebrate everyone’s successes but I also wanted to feel successful too.

Then I realized putting myself down wasn’t going to do anyone any favors. So I made dua for the person I felt jealous of. Made dua for her to be forgiven for her sins, her health, her family. And do you know what? It made me feel better. It really did.

And I am not going to be discouraged. I blog because it makes me happy. If it helps you lovely readers that makes me even happier.

How To Know If You Are A Hater

It’s been a while since I wrote a life based post, but I have noticed a very scary trend going on in Instagram and Facebook. There are sisters who may mean well (or not) going out and attacking their sisters in Islam with inappropriate and rude comments.

This disheartens me because in Islam, we are recommended to love each other. In fact, envy and jealousy are hated in Islam. In the Quran, we ask Allah (swt) to protect us from evils including the envy of the envier:

And from the evil of the envious when he envies.” (Surah 113 Ayah 5)

Jealousy and envy are seen as self destructive and were discouraged in Islam.

The Prophet (saws) said:

Beware of jealousy, for verily it destroys good deeds the way fire destroys wood.” (Abu Dawood)

So why is it that there are some sisters turning into haters on social media? Perhaps you may be one and not even know. Here are some clues that you may be a hater:

1) A hater is jealous. A hater will spread lies, gossip and generally focus on the business of others since they don’t have much to focus on in their own lives.

If this sounds like you, get a hobby! Paint, blog, memorize Quran. Focus on your own family iA. Be productive and this bad quality will fall away iA.

2) A hater can not stand hearing anyone else praised. If you have a gut reaction to nay say when another person says something nice about another sister, then you are being a hater.

Say Mashallah and move along! We can’t be the best at everything and surely we must appreciate the good things others have to offer.

If you worry that someone else envies you, remember that the Sunnah recommends that you give this envious person gifts, shake their hands and say salaam (greetings) to them. This may dispel any feelings of hate that the envier has iA.

3) Haters love to gossip. This is another really bad quality that is highly discouraged in Islam. I know it’s hard, but gossip is really terrible. In fact, the Prophet (saws) compares gossiping with eating the dead flesh of your brothers and sisters in Islam. Gossiping is a hater’s way of getting attention from others even if it hurts people in the process.

Stop gossiping! I know I am guilty of this one big time. Luckily, my friends try to follow a no gossip rule so rather than encouraging this, they will change the subject to a neutral topic. Ask your family and friends to do the same. It helps defuse this bad habit.

4) Haters love to compare what they have with others. Even if the other people don’t even know it.

Focus on your own blessings iA. We all have them. Don’t be busy counting the blessings of others.

5) Haters love to see others down. Nothing gives them more joy than seeing other people suffer. This is the complete opposite of how Islam recommends us to be. We are supposed to love for others what we love for ourselves.

If you have read this and see some qualities of yourself in any of these, pray to God to help you because these issues will eat away at you. Ask your friends and family for help. There is always hope, but remember that the change starts with you. I hope this post helps you and remember that I love you all.