How To Know If You Are A Hater

It’s been a while since I wrote a life based post, but I have noticed a very scary trend going on in Instagram and Facebook. There are sisters who may mean well (or not) going out and attacking their sisters in Islam with inappropriate and rude comments.

This disheartens me because in Islam, we are recommended to love each other. In fact, envy and jealousy are hated in Islam. In the Quran, we ask Allah (swt) to protect us from evils including the envy of the envier:

And from the evil of the envious when he envies.” (Surah 113 Ayah 5)

Jealousy and envy are seen as self destructive and were discouraged in Islam.

The Prophet (saws) said:

Beware of jealousy, for verily it destroys good deeds the way fire destroys wood.” (Abu Dawood)

So why is it that there are some sisters turning into haters on social media? Perhaps you may be one and not even know. Here are some clues that you may be a hater:

1) A hater is jealous. A hater will spread lies, gossip and generally focus on the business of others since they don’t have much to focus on in their own lives.

If this sounds like you, get a hobby! Paint, blog, memorize Quran. Focus on your own family iA. Be productive and this bad quality will fall away iA.

2) A hater can not stand hearing anyone else praised. If you have a gut reaction to nay say when another person says something nice about another sister, then you are being a hater.

Say Mashallah and move along! We can’t be the best at everything and surely we must appreciate the good things others have to offer.

If you worry that someone else envies you, remember that the Sunnah recommends that you give this envious person gifts, shake their hands and say salaam (greetings) to them. This may dispel any feelings of hate that the envier has iA.

3) Haters love to gossip. This is another really bad quality that is highly discouraged in Islam. I know it’s hard, but gossip is really terrible. In fact, the Prophet (saws) compares gossiping with eating the dead flesh of your brothers and sisters in Islam. Gossiping is a hater’s way of getting attention from others even if it hurts people in the process.

Stop gossiping! I know I am guilty of this one big time. Luckily, my friends try to follow a no gossip rule so rather than encouraging this, they will change the subject to a neutral topic. Ask your family and friends to do the same. It helps defuse this bad habit.

4) Haters love to compare what they have with others. Even if the other people don’t even know it.

Focus on your own blessings iA. We all have them. Don’t be busy counting the blessings of others.

5) Haters love to see others down. Nothing gives them more joy than seeing other people suffer. This is the complete opposite of how Islam recommends us to be. We are supposed to love for others what we love for ourselves.

If you have read this and see some qualities of yourself in any of these, pray to God to help you because these issues will eat away at you. Ask your friends and family for help. There is always hope, but remember that the change starts with you. I hope this post helps you and remember that I love you all.

7 thoughts on “How To Know If You Are A Hater

  1. Assalamu alaikum,

    I agree with the article in the main. However, the trouble with social networking sites, is that they themselves are a platform to showcase ones life for whatever reason a person may choose.

    So, if someone who gives off the image that they have such and such a life, someone else who may be going through a tough time might naturally feel these emotions of jealousy.

    These emotions are part of our nafs which we should be trying to suppress. So too are boasting, desiring admiration and pride when we show our lives on social networking sites.

    I believe everyone has to take responsibility for themselves. We should also make excuses for everyone. We all just need to think about what we are doing and why.

    Is it necessary to post this picture of myself? Am I doing it for praise? Who gave me that blessing anyway? So why am I
    posting it in the hope of praise directed at myself?

    Honesty with ourselves is key because our nafs is very deceptive. If we want to truly succeed, we need to weed out ALL it’s deceptions, not just the obvious ones.

    Love you all for the sake of Allah swt.

    • Thank you for giving another perspective on this. I think you are right, but it’s all about intention right? Like any other tool, social media can be very good or very bad for us, so it is up to us to decide what to use it for. Thanks again for such an insightful and thought provoking comment.

      • Assalamu alaikum,

        I totally agree, it is about intention. But that means we have to align our intention for Allah swt and like I said before, we need to really think about what we are doing and why.

        I think in most cases, a lot of things we do in our lives are unnecessary if looked at with the criteria of pleasing Allah swt. May Allah swt give us tawfiq to achieve His swt Pleasure – ameen.

        JazakAllah khayr for replying to my comment 🙂

    • Ameen! It is something I struggle with on a daily basis….I keep my blog about topics that I hope help my fellow sisters in Islam. I always make dua that it makes a difference. Please know that you make a difference in the lives of so many as well. Love you lots sister! You are truly an inspiration and I love you as a sister in Islam always.

  2. Pingback: Meet one of my favorite lifestyle bloggers - Minara of Hijabi Life - Sakeenah Begum

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