How To Know If You Are A Hater

It’s been a while since I wrote a life based post, but I have noticed a very scary trend going on in Instagram and Facebook. There are sisters who may mean well (or not) going out and attacking their sisters in Islam with inappropriate and rude comments.

This disheartens me because in Islam, we are recommended to love each other. In fact, envy and jealousy are hated in Islam. In the Quran, we ask Allah (swt) to protect us from evils including the envy of the envier:

And from the evil of the envious when he envies.” (Surah 113 Ayah 5)

Jealousy and envy are seen as self destructive and were discouraged in Islam.

The Prophet (saws) said:

Beware of jealousy, for verily it destroys good deeds the way fire destroys wood.” (Abu Dawood)

So why is it that there are some sisters turning into haters on social media? Perhaps you may be one and not even know. Here are some clues that you may be a hater:

1) A hater is jealous. A hater will spread lies, gossip and generally focus on the business of others since they don’t have much to focus on in their own lives.

If this sounds like you, get a hobby! Paint, blog, memorize Quran. Focus on your own family iA. Be productive and this bad quality will fall away iA.

2) A hater can not stand hearing anyone else praised. If you have a gut reaction to nay say when another person says something nice about another sister, then you are being a hater.

Say Mashallah and move along! We can’t be the best at everything and surely we must appreciate the good things others have to offer.

If you worry that someone else envies you, remember that the Sunnah recommends that you give this envious person gifts, shake their hands and say salaam (greetings) to them. This may dispel any feelings of hate that the envier has iA.

3) Haters love to gossip. This is another really bad quality that is highly discouraged in Islam. I know it’s hard, but gossip is really terrible. In fact, the Prophet (saws) compares gossiping with eating the dead flesh of your brothers and sisters in Islam. Gossiping is a hater’s way of getting attention from others even if it hurts people in the process.

Stop gossiping! I know I am guilty of this one big time. Luckily, my friends try to follow a no gossip rule so rather than encouraging this, they will change the subject to a neutral topic. Ask your family and friends to do the same. It helps defuse this bad habit.

4) Haters love to compare what they have with others. Even if the other people don’t even know it.

Focus on your own blessings iA. We all have them. Don’t be busy counting the blessings of others.

5) Haters love to see others down. Nothing gives them more joy than seeing other people suffer. This is the complete opposite of how Islam recommends us to be. We are supposed to love for others what we love for ourselves.

If you have read this and see some qualities of yourself in any of these, pray to God to help you because these issues will eat away at you. Ask your friends and family for help. There is always hope, but remember that the change starts with you. I hope this post helps you and remember that I love you all.

The Beauty of Friends

If you are lucky, you have friends that not only are with you during good times, but through hard times too. I mean a friend who doesn’t just agree with everything you say or do, but a friend who is willing to set you straight.

That type of friendship is rare, but if you find it, Islam recommends you cultivate it and care for it.

In Islam, the Prophet (saws) always spoke of the importance of brotherhood and camaraderie.

“You cannot enter paradise unless you become a total believer and you won’t become a total believer unless you love each other.”

I have always relied on my girlfriends to get me through life and give me good advice based on Islam. I can honestly say that they make me a better wife and mother. I love you ladies! I hope you know that your love counts with Allah (swt).

So if you are having a bad day, make sure you talk it out with a close friend. And make sure to share this post and tell them how much you love them!