A Key To A Happy Muslim Marriage

Muslim couple, sunset

A happy Muslim couple

Jumah mubarak my lovelies! I hope that you are all doing well on this Friday inshallah. I have been doing a lot of fashion/style/beauty posts so I decided to do a Muslim lifestyle blog post today on marriage. I wanted to do it on a topic that I think is super important because I feel like young Muslim couples are being pushed more than ever to part over things that may not be worth fighting over. Just as a background, I will be celebrating my own 4 year anniversary with the Hubster next week inshallah. Over those years, I had to learn a few things the HARD way. I wanted to share one of the key elements that I found my own marriage much happier.

One of the things that I noticed that really affected my marriage was nagging. Yes, ladies, while nagging works in the short term, one of the awful long term effects is that your husband starts to resent it (and maybe even you) and then he will start to ignore you and tune you out. It is tempting to resort to nagging, but let me tell you, it is not worth it if it will poison your marriage over time. If there are any brothers reading this, let me also tell you that while your wife may be driving you crazy with her nagging, you need to critically think about why she is nagging too. Does she have a valid point? Then just do yourself a favor and listen to what your wife is trying to say.

At this point, I try not to nag, but if something is bothering me or is important, I let the Hubster know. Since I am not a chronic nagger, he actually takes what I say seriously and listens (for the most part….I still have not won my war against socks on the floor…if there is a wife who has please let me know your secret!). One of the most important things I learned from my older married couples is that you need to stop nagging because it makes your husband feel like a child. When he feels like a child, he will act like one which is not what either of you want.

How do you stop nagging? Here are some tips:

  • Notice what your husband is doing right. Does he call you to tell you he loves you? Does he make the bed for you? Does he change the oil in your car? My Hubster always surprises me with flowers, helps with the baby, and does other little things. When I feel tempted to nag, I remind myself of ALL of these good things.
  • Is the thing you want to nag him about a recurring issue? If it is a recurring issue that is important to you, you should talk it over with your husband. However, if this is a bad habit that is not going to break, assess if this is something you can live with. For me, rather than nag about socks on the floor, I just pick them up and put them away.
  • Tell your husband you love him. I sometimes forget how express how much I care for my husband. I have started to remind myself that just because he is a man, doesn’t mean he needs any less love than I do.

I hope these tips help you in some way, and that we can all be blessed with happy marriages. Are there are any tips you have? Let me know in the comments box!

7 thoughts on “A Key To A Happy Muslim Marriage

  1. Asalaamu’alaikum! I used to be like very angry as I picked a pair tucked in a corner (yeah, happens to me too). I’m a housewife, so I’d wait for him to get home and sulk and nag. I got this tip from my mum in law (who, Maasha Allah, is a diligent non-nagger). She asked me to look at dumping the socks as an action Allah would reward me for, and not complain. Which I did. A few days after, seeing I had stopped complaining, my husband would drop them in the hamper himself. At times, to answer to nagging, men may resort to doing the opposite, perhaps to annoy/tease us, or think we’re trying to order them around. Your tips are very helpful! Jazaakillah.

    • That is such a lovely story! I sadly have to say after 4 years I am still picking up socks (without nagging) but Alh. Your story uplifted me. Your mum is a very wise lady mashallah. May Allah (swt) bless your mum and your marriage inshallah. Thank you for your comment and kind words!

  2. Salaam sister, you’re basic tip and almost highly obvious one at that is definitely what I need to always remind myself of and continually stay conscious of it. I always try to remind myself also that in a marriage you’ve brought two different people together as one and that we (wives) equally do things that bother and annoy our sweet husbands as well, yet men handle it different ways. Pick and choose our battles! 😉 And as my mother always told me, “our soul-mates aren’t just found, they’re built” every day we should be working our bettering our relationships with our spouses for our Allah (swt)!

  3. I agree- pick your battles! Your comment about the socks on the floor made me laugh– mine does the same thing! That and leaving a wet towel on the bed drive me crazy, but I try not to say anything or just laugh about it 🙂

  4. Just came across your blog mashAllah! I thought I was the only one- untill we received a few guests over the years and I just said alhamdulilah, I guess I’m lucky it’s only socks! X

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s