Marriage Tips for the Muslim Husband

It’s been a while since I wrote a post about life as a married hijabi.

I wanted to write about love in Islam because I feel like its an important topic in every time and age.

In particular, I wanted to write about love between a Muslim husband and his wife.

Now, I want to warn you that I am not a marriage counselor or an expert in relationships, but I wanted to share with you some important gems from a Muslim wife’s perspective:

1) Your wife loves you: Sometimes Muslim men forget that their wives want the best for them. While it may seem like your wife is nagging you, your wife is trying to look out for you.

She wants you to succeed. For example, if your wife is trying to wake you up, it’s not that she doesn’t want you to sleep in, but she may be trying to make sure you don’t miss fajr or miss a good portion of your day. So next time you think your wife is nagging, think about what she is focusing on and why it seems to be important.

2) Your wife wants to be heard: A lot of wives notice this. Your wife is trying to relay an important story and the you are just nodding along but it turns out you had earbuds in and you were jamming to music (or nasheeds or Quran). If your wife is talking, try to make eye contact and really listen.

3) Your wife covers for you: If you see your wife is working hard with your kids, working hard outside, or even inside your home, try to appreciate that. She is covering all your bases and errands so that you can have a moment to get closer to Allah, relax, etc.

4) Never underestimate a nice break: It doesn’t matter what type of wife you have. If she is a woman, she will appreciate you even more for giving HER a break. For example, give her a break from the kids so she can spend some time with her friends, or plan a nice weekend getaway. I promise you those little acts of kindness go a long way.

If you can’t give her a break, at least try to appreciate your wife. Some wives love books. Others love chocolates. For us, I adore fresh cut flowers. So when my Hubster wants to make me feel appreciated, he brings me some flowers. It definitely helps make my day and I in turn try to spoil him too.

I hope these tips help. Let me know what you think!

A Key To A Happy Muslim Marriage

Muslim couple, sunset

A happy Muslim couple

Jumah mubarak my lovelies! I hope that you are all doing well on this Friday inshallah. I have been doing a lot of fashion/style/beauty posts so I decided to do a Muslim lifestyle blog post today on marriage. I wanted to do it on a topic that I think is super important because I feel like young Muslim couples are being pushed more than ever to part over things that may not be worth fighting over. Just as a background, I will be celebrating my own 4 year anniversary with the Hubster next week inshallah. Over those years, I had to learn a few things the HARD way. I wanted to share one of the key elements that I found my own marriage much happier.

One of the things that I noticed that really affected my marriage was nagging. Yes, ladies, while nagging works in the short term, one of the awful long term effects is that your husband starts to resent it (and maybe even you) and then he will start to ignore you and tune you out. It is tempting to resort to nagging, but let me tell you, it is not worth it if it will poison your marriage over time. If there are any brothers reading this, let me also tell you that while your wife may be driving you crazy with her nagging, you need to critically think about why she is nagging too. Does she have a valid point? Then just do yourself a favor and listen to what your wife is trying to say.

At this point, I try not to nag, but if something is bothering me or is important, I let the Hubster know. Since I am not a chronic nagger, he actually takes what I say seriously and listens (for the most part….I still have not won my war against socks on the floor…if there is a wife who has please let me know your secret!). One of the most important things I learned from my older married couples is that you need to stop nagging because it makes your husband feel like a child. When he feels like a child, he will act like one which is not what either of you want.

How do you stop nagging? Here are some tips:

  • Notice what your husband is doing right. Does he call you to tell you he loves you? Does he make the bed for you? Does he change the oil in your car? My Hubster always surprises me with flowers, helps with the baby, and does other little things. When I feel tempted to nag, I remind myself of ALL of these good things.
  • Is the thing you want to nag him about a recurring issue? If it is a recurring issue that is important to you, you should talk it over with your husband. However, if this is a bad habit that is not going to break, assess if this is something you can live with. For me, rather than nag about socks on the floor, I just pick them up and put them away.
  • Tell your husband you love him. I sometimes forget how express how much I care for my husband. I have started to remind myself that just because he is a man, doesn’t mean he needs any less love than I do.

I hope these tips help you in some way, and that we can all be blessed with happy marriages. Are there are any tips you have? Let me know in the comments box!

Reality of Marriage

Jasmine is such a little flower, but it provides the most lovely fragrance even at a distance.

Like jasmine’s demure size, it’s the little things in a marriage that keep it going.

The look of appreciation after a hard day’s work, telling your spouse how good they look, or even sending them a sweet email or text.

Like jasmine, it may seem small, but the beauty of the act travels far.

The contrasting thing that can poison a marriage is little bits of nagging. Saying “you never do things like so and so’s husband does.”

Let me tell you, sometimes you see people on Facebook talking about getting served breakfast in bed but what you may not know is how that spouse may have been kicked out that very same bed the night before!

You never know a couple’s whole married life, so stop comparing and enjoy what you have. Make sure to stop and smell the flowers on a stroll with your spouse today.