Category Archives: Islam

Islam, Life, Parenting

Raising Muslim Kids In A Hyper Sexualized World

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Muslim Children in Hyderabad

Muslim Children in Hyderabad

With more children suffering at the hands of this sexually driven world, I am starting to feel scared as a Muslim parent. Recently, The Telegraph did a whole article about the prevalence of pornography in all facets of our lives and how they are starting to affect children. Reading the article struck fear in my heart. As a parent of a toddler who is barely 2, I am starting to realize that she is absorbing everything around her; good and bad.

I am lucky because at this age, I can be her media gatekeeper. I refuse to watch anything remotely adult around her. It has been a blessing for me too. I recently shared an article on my Facebook about how desensitized that our society has become that Beyonce’s Super Bowl performance did not cause anyone to bat an eyelash. I was blessed because I didn’t subject my eyes and my soul to what was described as a purely objectifying performance that did a disservice to the singer and women in general. However, I can’t shield my child from glancing over magazine covers while in line to buy groceries and other inevitable instances of sexualized exposure.

That being said, I am not going to despair. In the time of the Prophet, there were all sorts of ignorance (jahiliyya) around. People used to go around the Kaaba naked! So in order to combat these influences that may take away my child’s innocence, I plan to do the following:

  • Spend as much time as I can: I plan to spend every moment I can ENGAGED with my child. I lock my phone in an unknown place unless we are FaceTiming grandparents and I spend as much time as I can talking to my child face to face. we play games, we play pretend, we do yoga, we watch child appropriate TV. We even pray together. I want my time with her to dominate her memories.
  • Teach boundaries: I want my daughter to know what is right and wrong. When she does something wrong, I simply say stop and walk away so she knows that there are consequences to her wrong actions. I hope this instills a sense of responsibility in her inshallah. I am still a new parent, so if anyone has any pointers, please let me know! She knows that she can’t touch any electronic device without a grown up supervising.
  • Show your love: I show my daughter I love her all the time to the point she rubs my kisses away. But I want her to know that she is loved for who she is, not for what she looks like or what she can give anyone. I want her to grow up feeling valued as a human being so that when the time comes, she will know that she is not an object and that she has more to contribute to society. It is so sad, but even The Onion did a parody piece about the awkward moment that a girl transitions into a sexual being. So when that moment comes, I hope that my daughter knows she is more than that to me and can hold tight to the values I raise her with inshallah.
Islam, Life

Best Friends: Why They Matter In Islam

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Muslim best friends

Muslim best friends

Whenever you see the movies, the emphasis is always on finding the One. The One is typically a romantic interest, but what about finding the One in terms of your best friend? I have to say, that may be one of the single most important relationship in our own lives. If you look at all of those movies, isn’t there always a goofy best friend? Even Disney characters have best friends (even if they are a monkey named Abbu).

The reason best friends matter is because they have known you long enough to understand why certain things are important to you. They have also most likely seen you at your best AND worst. And they are always there for you mentally even if they are not physically close by.

One of the most amazing relationships that I have come across is that of Abu Bakr (ra) and the Prophet (saws). They were as we would say now, besties. When the Prophet (saws) realized he was a messenger of God, he told his wife, and then he told Abu Bakr(ra). And when Abu Bakr (ra) heard this, he didn’t dismiss it or think that his best friend was crazy. He supported him from the very beginning. They brought out the best from one another.

That is how I feel about my best friend Farah. She and I met when we were 13. I was a new hijabi and she wasn’t. But we knew we were both Muslim and somehow over the years, we brought out the best in each other. When I need a piece of sound advice based on the deen, I know I can turn to Farah. She always manages to not just say what she knows will make me feel good, but she tries to tell me things from an honest perspective because she cares. That is something no one can ever buy. I remember whenever I falter in my faith, Farah will be there to remind me and lift me back up. I hope that I do the same for her.

One of the most profound stories of the Prophet (saws) I have ever heard is when he was making the escape from Mecca to Medina with Abu Bakr (ra) by his side. A lot of people tend to focus on the chase part of it, but one of the things that touched my heart is that the Prophet (saws) wasn’t alone in the cave when bounty hunters were after his head. He was with his best friend and they had God watching over them.

The reason this touched me, is because whenever I feel alone or in despair, I remind myself of this instance. That we are never alone. That God is always with us even in the darkness of a cave. And if we are lucky enough, we have a best friend to illuminate our lives too. I love you Farah and I know you read my posts, but this post is especially for you. You are always in my duas and in my heart.

Islam, Life

Tragedy In Sandy Hook

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I am too sad for words about what has happened in Newtown, CT. I don’t have the energy to blog about this, but I wanted to leave you with some thoughts. Let’s love each other. Let’s be kind to one another. Let’s stop being petty. Let’s make sure we are kind to children and the elderly. Let’s get more involved with our communities.

In the Quran, God tells us:

If anyone slew a person unless it be for murder or for spreading mischief in the land it would be as if he slew the whole humanity: and if anyone saved a life it would be as if he saved the life of the whole humanity. (Al-Qur’an 5:32)

A human life is precious indeed.

Beauty, Islam, Style

Follow Friday: Heba Jay and Farah Jay

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Source: statigr.am via Hidiyah on Pinterest

Jumuah mubarak my lovelies! I hope that this Friday finds you well inshallah. I wanted to give you some more inspiration from some amazing fellow hijabis. If you are on Instagram, you should definitely follow the stylish sisters Heba Jay (Jalloul) and Farah Jay (Jalloul) from Dearborn, MI. Their IG IDs are: heba_jay and farah_jay. They have amazing style sense and for those of you on a budget, they recommend a lot of affordable pieces. Just look at how stunning they look in the photo above!

For those of you on IG, feel free to follow me as well at hijabilife. Have a wonderful Friday and a great weekend. See you soon on IG!

Islam, Life

Tears That Soften The Heart

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I noticed that in America, crying is seen as a sign of weakness. It is what helpless beings like babies do. In fact, when you complain about something, people often retort “Don’t be a cry baby!”

I have also noticed that as I get older, my heart is getting softer. Very seldom can I mention my nani or nana (maternal grandparents) without crying. They played a huge role in shaping who I have become. I cry when I remember my parents’ sacrifices in raising myself and my siblings. I cry in prayer, I even cry when I watch movies like Wreck It Ralph.

At first, I was embarrassed. I mean who wants to be known as a cry baby?

But then I realized that some of my tears are actually washing away the dust in my heart. Some of my tears are good for me. Now, I don’t claim to hold any special sway with Allah (swt), but I have noticed that my tears have helped me have more empathy than I ever had in my teens and twenties!

I can admire people like my older sister and my cousin Nipa because they have sacrificed a lot to be working moms. When I cry to Allah in my duas about hoping my little girl grows up to be a good person, I think of them and I can admire them. As a single girl, I had less empathy.

I used to wonder why my grandma used to cry all the time. Now I know why. It is because I realize that this life is short and we need to appreciate what we have in this life and prepare for the next. The Prophet (saws) used to cry in prayer.

Great men and women cry over important things.

In fact, one of the most moving moments of the Obama campaign came when Obama cried while thanking his staffers after he found out he won.

So I guess being a cry baby isn’t so bad after all.

Islam

Movie Series To Watch

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Flu season has hit our house hard, so we have been holed in trying to recuperate and thank Allah for our blessings.

One of the halal things we love to do at home is catch up on movies and television. We recently discovered an amazing series called Omar. It’s about Omar Ibn Khattab (ra)’s life. It’s more in depth than that though. It is literally almost like a whole walk through early Islamic history.

I learned so many different things! Another great benefit has been seeing how early Muslims sacrificed so much to establish our deen. I feel like such a wimp in comparison now. We are so fortunate to be able to practice our faith so freely in America Alh.

So if you have some time, please check out this series iA. Here is the link: Omar Series Ep 1

Islam

The Power of Prayer

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Salah (the daily prayer that Muslims do five times a day) is something that we may take for granted sometimes. We get caught up with taking care of our kids, work meetings, and other things. But it’s something that if you do it regularly, you look forward to.

Why?

It’s because salah or any prayer brings peace of mind. You can step away from life’s craziness and recenter just by having a one on one with God.

I love how my office park (pictured above) is lush with greenery. It helps me focus and remember who created all that beauty.

When I miss a salah, I feel like my whole day is ruined. And I guess that is the way I should feel based on the hadith below:

Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him) said, “If people only knew the reward of giving the prayer-call or the merit of standing in the first row of the congregational prayers, they would insist on drawing lots for finding a place therein. And if they could know the merit of repairing to the mosque early for noon prayers, they would go there running and if they were to know the blessings of night and early morning prayers, they would go to the mosque dragging themselves on their buttocks if they had not the strength to walk upto it” (Bukhari, Muslim)