Author Archives: minaraelrahman

Style

Hijab Trends: Kimono Cardigans

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Kimono cardigan

Kimono cardigans are great layering piece for modest outfits.

Modest outfits pulled together by stylish hijabi bloggers have never been hotter. One hot hijab trend for summer has been the kimono cardigan. It is lightweight and skims over areas where hijabis tend to be modest. I personally love the kimono because it allows you to layer without adding too much bulk which is especially nice for curvy hijabis. Let’s be real: curvy hijabis have to be a little more creative if we want to translate what most hijabi bloggers wear into our own closet.

Kimono cardigans are versatile. You can pair the kimono cardigan with a jumpsuit, jeans, flowy palazzo pants and even layer on top of maxi dresses. It adds a layer of texture and interest to an outfit. For more of a fitted look, you can add a belt like the image above. Lengths of kimono cardigans vary, but I personally prefer longer ones since I am a petite hijabi. When I wear longer cardigans, it tends to lengthen my whole body versus cutting the visual lines and making me look too squat. I love that the kimono cardigan can work for any body shape.

It is also a great piece for a hijabi in any age group. When I was rocking my kimono cardigan, my mother in law loved it so much. So I surprised her with her own kimono and she rocks it all the time now alhamdulillah. Since the kimono is more of a trendy piece, I tend to stick to more affordable options.

Here are my top affordable picks for a kimono cardigan:

Urban Outfitters Floral Kimono

Forever 21 Eyelash Lace Kimono

Forever 21 Long Floral Lace Kimono

Zara Flowing Kimono Jacket

Are you rocking the kimono this summer? What are your favorite kimono cardigans? Let me know in the comments below:

Islam, Life, Parenting

Ramadan Decorating Ideas and Printables

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Eid Printables

ModernEid’s 2015 Printables make it easy to decorate for Eid.

One of the amazing parts of Ramadan as a Muslim parent is getting the chance to introduce the magic of it with your children. One of the ways to bring that magic to your child’s life is to welcome Ramadan to your home by decorating it with Ramadan decorations and crafts. Here are some tips to make decorating your home for Ramadan fun, easy and not too messy.

Printables

I admit it. I am a Muslim mom who loves shortcuts that look fancy. Who doesn’t? I have a newborn and a toddler, but I still want my home to look cute and ready for Eid and Ramadan. What is the best way to do it? Using printables. With the click of a mouse, you too can make a Ramadan decorated room worthy of Pinterest. Here are my favorite printables:

ModernEid Printables

Sakina Design Ramadan Printables

In My Studio Ramadan Banner Printable

DIY

Since my oldest child is now 4, I decided we could make a banner together so that she could have fun too. However, the perfectionist in me wanted the banner to look cute too. So I did an easy DIY banner with this kit from Target. To make it even easier, I added these stick on letters from Target to spell out “Ramadan Kareem.” She loved it! She got to play with stickers and I got to create a cute Ramadan banner. It was a win for all of us.

We also did crescent moon and star cut outs and doused them with glue and glitter. Let me just add that I now know why adults call glitter evil. It is terribly messy and is hard to get out! However, my daughter loved the activity and if it makes her excited about Ramadan, it is worth the mess and memories.

Lights

Oh Christmas, you aren’t the only holiday where people want to put up lights. Long ago, I used to stock up the day after Christmas on lights so that I could string them all over my house when it was time for weddings, Ramadan and Eid. This season, it seems that retailers are catching on about Ramadan and there was an abundance of lights to be purchased in the patio section of my local Target (oh Target, how I love thee). Some Muslim moms even found gold and silver battery operated lights in the Dollar Section of Target! Seriously, how are you not running to Target now?

I was not one of those lucky thrifty moms and I selected a super cute gold themed string of lights by Lilly Pulitzer from Target for Ramadan (I promise, this post was not sponsored by Target, I just happen to shop there a LOT).

How are you welcoming Ramadan this year? Do you have any decorating ideas that you would love to share? Please let us know in the comments below!

Islam, Life

Rewriting the Muslim Narrative

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I have an admission to make. Ever since the atrocities of Gaza, I have not been able to blog about Hijabi Life (food, faith, parenting and fashion). Why is that? It seems frivolous. Children are suffering all over the world and I am writing about the best eyeliner or hijabi fashion trend? How out of touch does that make me sound as a Muslim American who is privileged enough to live in peace and prosperity? Let’s take a lesson from Marie Antoinette and not be complacent with our comforts.

However, the news has taken to breaking my heart and I can’t stay silent any more. With attacks like the Sydney Siege and Peshawar, it seems like the Muslim narrative is being written by a few extremists and I refuse to let them speak for me. It is my responsibility to use my privileged position to not only speak out against these sick individuals, but try to help make the world a better place with my own actions. Muslims need to get out of the reactionary mindset and start doing things. Far too often we see Muslims reacting to what extremists do.

How about if Muslims band together and actually do something versus reacting? Instead of criticizing those who are doing something, get out and do something good.

Instead of the typical knee jerk reaction to the news, I ask you all for a favor. Let’s do something to make the world a better place. Let’s volunteer in our communities. Let’s take a moment out of the bubble of our own lives to empathize with those who are less fortunate. It can be as simple as donating to your local food bank or reading to kids in the library. When we look at the Sunnah of the Prophet (saws), we will see he was never ever harsh. Why is it that we are so harsh and hard hearted? Extremists are the polar opposite of the teachings of Muhammed (saws) and actually reflect the way people were in the time of Jahiliyya (time before Islam). Let’s pray to God that we are not like them. I am grateful for my family, health and other blessings, but it is time to start giving back. What will you do to give back for your own blessings?

Islam, Life

Racism in Islam

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Basma K

Unfortunately, even gorgeous hijabis like Basma K have to endure racial slurs.

Racism. It is a charged word being used to describe events in Israel, unannounced FBI visits and the unjust surveillance of large swaths of the Muslim American population. While racism or discrimination against Muslims is a fairly new thing, it is not new to the African American community. It is almost institutionalized.

With the increased awareness around racism in America thanks to what is going on Ferguson, MO after the tragic shooting of Michael Brown, as an Ummah, we need to start looking inwardly at our own racial biases against others.

As much as Muslims would like to claim the diversity of our Ummah is an indicator of our tolerance, I know actually know there is an ugly underbelly of racism in Muslim communities. How many of us have heard our elders in the community speak derisively against other races? How many of us have seen supposedly religious members of our community shoot down a perfectly good proposal for their daughters simply because the man in question is an African American? How many times have we seen those same daughters married to men of the same ethnic background but with questionable morals? How many times have we seen aunties in the community laud a marriage between a daughter in the community and a white man? In fact, I recall one time attending a wedding where one aunty had the gall to tell me that the sister was lucky to have married a white man because it would ensure her kids would be fair skinned!

I kid you not. These situations have occurred. Even in our younger generation, racism still is a seed of destruction that germinates. It even happens to me when I am driving and I rail that a fellow driver’s poor skills is due to his/her ethnicity.

It is wrong. It needs to stop with us.

During the Prophet (saws) time, there was racism in pre Islamic Arabia. Blacks were sold and traded like property. There was misogyny. Women were also treated like property versus as individuals. It is wrong for us to assume that after Islam was introduced to this society, that racism was completely eradicated. It was not. There were instances of where racial discomfort could be felt. It was an active process to remove racism in the community.

For example, Barakah (Umm Ayman ra) was an Abyssinian slave that was considered a devout Muslim in high esteem of the Prophet (saws). When the Prophet (saws) said to his companions: “Should one of you desire to marry a woman from the people of Paradise, let him marry Umm Ayman.” None of the companions stirred except Zayd ibn Haritha (ra). They were all hesitant to marry an older black woman. It was not easy, but the Prophet (saws) tried to devote his life to fulfilling the beauty of Islam which included eradicating social constructs of class and race.

Even till the very end the Prophet (saws) was telling his followers to leave the ugliness of racism behind. “O people! Remember that your Lord is One. An Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab, nor a non-Arab have superiority over an Arab; also a black has no superiority over white, nor a white has any superiority over a black, except by piety and good action. Indeed the best of you is the one with the best character.”

How can Muslims rail against Islamophobia when we can’t even support our fellow brothers and sisters in need? We need to help others if we want them to help us.

 

Beauty, Islam, Life, Style

Has Hijabi Fashion Gone Too Far?

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Hijab Fashion

Does modest fashion have to be so serious?

Salaam my lovelies! I hope you are all doing well inshallah. I know I haven’t posted in a long time. It is not because I don’t love to write; I really do. I LOVE that my writing has resonated with so many readers and that I get the most lovely comments on my posts. However, the divisiveness in our little hijabi blogger community has left me shaken. As you remember, I viewed being a hijabi blogger as a chance for Muslim women to regain our narrative back. Modest fashion is a part of that, but I also wanted to blog about other Muslim American topics such as raising good Muslim children, having a healthy Islamic marriage and even where to get good halal food.

However, it seems that there are a lot of trolls who persist in tearing hijabi bloggers to shreds. I have written about this before, but I will actually share an incident that has bothered me immensely. We all know how I have my Follow Friday posts on Hijabi Life. I actually posted a Follow Friday post on a sister named Imaan Ali who used to blog on a blog called The Hijablog. We all know hijab is an extremely personal experience and that there are ups and downs in everyone’s faith. So for hijabi bloggers to document our lives is very hard to begin with. So you can imagine how much backlash Imaan got for making the very personal decision to take her hijab off.

Here is the thing: She is still the same person. She is still a human being. Do you really think trolling her or any bloggers who admired her will really change the situation? I know she is not the first hijabi blogger to take her hijab off (Winnie Detwa also received backlash for taking her hijab off too). However, I don’t expect her to be the last. How terrible is it that we are so quick to bash the bloggers we so ardently adored? Personally, I don’t want to be adored. I want to be able to share my own thoughts and feelings in the hopes that it provides some souls a little comfort in their own lives. I think it is wrong how we have quickly made hijabi bloggers the end all be all. Please avoid taking bloggers on as idols. I don’t think a single blogger wants to be idol worshipped like a celebrity is in Western culture. And if there is a shred of pride from cult status, then we as bloggers need to be aware that showing off is so dangerous that it’s like the black ant on the black rock in the night with no moon. It can sneak up on you like this.

And here is my quandary: Should I keep blogging about hijabi fashion? I feel like it has taken on more baggage than I was aware of. It also limits my writing. I want to be able to write and help others. With the situation in Gaza, I can’t help but feel silly to write about just modest fashion. I would like to share more Islamic/DIY/political posts though. If you agree or disagree, please let me know. I am not asking you readers to all agree with me, but I do think that we need to have some more tolerance and forgiveness in our own hearts. The way we treat others in this world is how God will treat us when we meet him. Let us have more mercy.

Islam, Life

Parenting Tips for Ramadan

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Ramadan Countdown Poster

Ramadan Countdown Poster from Moderneid.com

Salaams my lovelies! I hope you are all doing well inshallah. It is almost time for my most favorite time of year: Ramadan! For those of my readers who may not know what Ramadan is, it is one of the holy months in the Islamic calendar where Muslims fast from eating food, drinking even water, and sexual relations during daylight hours. Nights are spent in hours of prayer and spiritual contemplation. Muslims believe this is the month that Shaytan (the Devil) and his minions are chained as well. It may seem bizarre to some that a month where worldly pleasures are denied can be my favorite time of year. However, if you ask a lot of Muslims, they will agree. There is a sense of closeness with Allah swt (God) in this month because there is an ongoing dialogue all month be it through fasting, prayer or charity.

Trust me when I say it took a long time to appreciate this month. As a youngster to be told to shut off Buffy the Vampire Slayer to pray was just agony. Now that I have my own little girl, I have been trying to think of ways to welcome this holy month in my own household and let her know how very important this month is to me and to a lot of Muslims.

Make it Special

I think growing up we noticed how other faiths like Christianity and Judaism were able to make their own holidays special. For Ramadan, I think it is important to associate good feelings with your own children. For me, I plan to decorate my home to welcome Ramadan and ask my daughter to help me. I do this for Eid too. On Eid, my toddler woke up to a gorgeously decorated home and was so excited because she knew it was a special day. I already started telling her about how Ramadan is coming and how we will pray to Allah for anything we need (even if it means Hello Kitty stickers). If you don’t want to make your own Ramadan decorations, make sure to check out Modern Eid. They have an amazing selection of Ramadan and Eid decorations that are just the right amount of stylish and are fit for Pinterest. I will be ordering their Ramadan Countdown poster so that Safiya can countdown the days to Eid with good deeds that she can do daily.

Make a Plan

I also plan to map out what I will be cooking (only easy dishes) so that I can make time to pray and read our holy book The Quran. If your child sees you pray, she will start to do it herself. Parents really do lead by example. I also helped my own daughter map out good deeds she can do all month. These good deeds are as simple as helping by picking up toys, giving someone a smile or hug and even donating old toys to a charity.

Involve Other Mommies

Another way to get your kids excited about Ramadan is to get together during Ramadan with other couples and their kids who practice too. If your child sees that other children are fasting and are excited about Ramadan, it becomes contagious. The moms and kids can do something simple, like read a Ramadan story and have iftar or even do a simple dua with the kids. It is also nice since the mommies can get a break from cooking that day too!

Make Some Memories

I am also thinking of ways to make some memories with my little one too. I want her to remember that Ramadan is a special time where we did special things together. One of those ways is to work with her and bake some cookies. When we bake our “Ramadan” cookies, she will remember good times with her mama and also remember a special Ramadan recipe. If you want, I can share my special “Ramadan” cookie recipe with you too!

What are your plans to make Ramadan special for your family? Let me know in the comments below!

Style

Modest Swimsuits for Summer

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Madamme BK Modest Swimwear

The Hijablog rocking a Madamme BK modest swimsuit.

Salaams my lovelies! I hope you are all doing well inshallah. I know that since summer has arrived, I have seen my spare time shift to spending more times outdoors, in the sun, and even by the pool. Yes, I wrote the pool. Contrary to what some hijabis think, you can spend time at the pool or beach and still be modest. Long ago, I remember that I had to resort to wearing long sleeved shirts and quick drying workout pants in order to “swim.”  One of the saddest things I can confess is that since I wore hijab at such an early age, I never really learned how to swim! I could never find a modest outfit that allowed me to swim or learn to swim properly. Inshallah, I plan to learn to swim soon since swimming is one of the activities the Prophet (saws) recommended all believers should know (along with riding a horse and archery). When the burquini came on to the scene, I viewed it as an opportunity to learn the skill I so badly wanted to learn.

Alhamdulillah, we have come a long way from one hijabi friendly swimsuit line to a medley of modest swimwear options. Here are some great hijabi swimwear options if you are looking for the perfect modest swimsuit:

  1. Madamme BK: Seen on the likes of Yaz the Spaz, the Hijablog, Indahnadapuspita, and other hijabi fashion icons, this modest bathing suit is perfect for the fashionista type who doesn’t want to compromise her sense of style  or modesty while she is out at the pool or beach.
  2. Simply Zeena: This line of swimwear are for the practical hijabis who need a suit that is functional and not too frilly. This line is perfect for young hijabi moms who don’t want their kids tugging on their suit.
  3. Modest Sea: A line of swimwear for the athletically inclined. The aerodynamic suits with racing stripes and sporty details are ideal for a hijabi who loves to work out and play hard.
  4. Burqini: I couldn’t ignore the original modest bathing suit for hijabis could I? An old standby and the brand trusted by Australian lifeguards.

Do you have a modest bathing suit that you love? Share the love and let us know in the comments below!

 

Beauty, Style

Follow Friday: Ascia AKF

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Ascia AKF

Ascia AKF is a Kuwaiti blogger who shows us you can have great style all the time…even pregnant!

Salaams my lovelies! I hope you are having a good day today inshallah. Well even if you aren’t, the bright spot is that today is Follow Friday on Hijabi Life! The hijabi blogger for today’s Follow Friday lives in Kuwait and is a masterful mix of bold, bright and beautiful ensembles. Ascia AKF, aka Ascia Al-Faraj exploded onto the blogger scene and is credited with bringing the turban style into a mainstream staple. Ascia AKF’s blog, The Hybrids follow the fashion diary of not only herself, but her husband Ahmad too. The couple calls themselves “hybrids” since they are both of mixed heritage. The results are just stunning mashallah.

An expert at deftly layering clothes, Ascia AKF’s look is more of a citizen of the world. She combines high low fashion in a way that is not only accessible, but transcends age, ethnicity and even gender. Even during her recent pregnancy with her newborn son Adam, we never saw the lovely hijabi blogger ever resort to scrubby looking sweatpants (which makes me love, yet hate her haha!) even during her last trimester. A big believer in the idea that your mood affects your style, Ascia AKF has said, “When I don’t want to talk to anyone I wear black clothes and black dark eyeliner so no one would enter my world of thoughts. On the other hand, “sometimes I would wear colors with the best accessory and bright colors to express my mood.”

Ascia AKF doesn’t purport to live a charmed life even with all of her successes as a fashion designer and blogger. Ascia is very open about sharing her own struggles as well as her style. She shared her troubles of fertility with her fans last year as well as the sadness she felt with losses in her life. However, she still continued and continues to inspire us all. If there was ever a blogger who was proof of how there is ease after hardship, it is Ascia. She lives up to her namesake’s name.

While I am not a devotee of the turban style for my own personal hijab style, I think @ascia_akf (her account on Instagram) is just a wonderful account to follow for modest fashion ideas. What are your thoughts? Do you have a hijabi blogger you would like me to cover in the next Follow Friday post? Let me know.

Islam, Life

Are Taking Selfies Dangerous?

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Keep Calm and No Selfies

Taking selfies can be more damaging than you think.

I have an addiction. No I am not addicted to drugs, or alcohol, or anything that is traditionally deemed as destructive. However, deep down I know I have an addiction that could possibly be destructive. I am addicted to taking selfies. At first, I was all about just taking pictures of friends and families just to capture the moment. But it was when I was ruining happy moments to take selfies that I realized that my hobby of taking pictures has gone too far. Who am I really posting all my selfies for? I should be actually basking in the fun moments with my family versus taking a multiple pictures only to “delete” most of them and keep only the ones I thought were the most flattering.

My moment of realization actually came with seeing the movie Divergent. In the movie, there is a group of people called Abnegation who are kind and think of others. They deny themselves “pleasures” in order to stay connected to feeling empathy for others. One pivotal thing I noticed was that this group of people did not spend too much time looking in the mirror because they felt it bred vanity. When I saw this scene, I felt a moment of realization. I was spending way too much time worrying about how I look, taking selfies, and getting ready than I did about my fellow Muslims in Syria and all over the world. As I was trying to connect via selfies, I was actually disconnecting with reality.

Time recently reported how a teenager almost committed suicide when he came to realization that he couldn’t take the “perfect” selfie. Danny Bowman told The Mirror: “I was constantly in search of taking the perfect selfie and when I realized I couldn’t I wanted to die,” Bowman told the Daily Mirror. “I lost my friends, my education, my health and almost my life.”

I am opening up about my addiction with you lovelies because it is one that is spreading in our lovely Ummah faster than you can say bismillah. Like any new technology, there is good and bad that comes with it. The one nice thing about Instagram and selfies is that it has definitely normalized hijab for Americans. It has also served as inspiration for many sisters in the community who want to dress modestly, but also want to look stylish as well. However, the negative aspect is when you start to worry you are not “stylish” enough, harass your loved ones to take a ton of pictures of you, and you interrupt a perfectly lovely meal just to take snaps of yourself with food. I am not judging anyone. This post is about me. I am ashamed to admit that this is me. However, I do want to change. I have decided not to take pictures of myself no more than once a week. I have also promised myself to treat myself kindly. I know I may not be a super hijabi fashionista, but I try to be a good mom, wife and valued member of the community who helps others.

In fact, Shaykh Hamza Yusuf gave a khutba at MCC recently where he said that selfies should really be called nafsies (nafs is the term used for a human’s base desires and instincts). Do we really want to give in to our nafs on a daily basis? I know I don’t and I will try my best to stop myself from this selfie tendency. Here is what the Shaykh has said:

The end is coming and people will do anything to occupy their time to avoid the inevitability of Death.

People are completely distracted and they are not present in their lives.

People completely fade away as we are living in a very trivialized civilization.

The Prophet (peace & blessings upon him) has warned: the “The intellects will be removed from people”; these are our Prophetic traditions.

Do I really want to be one of those people whose intellect has been removed? I personally was scared when I heard this. I am so very lucky to have scholars locally here in the Bay Area to remind me, but I am writing this post to remind you. Let’s remove this selfie addiction and replace it with something more positive, like Suhaib Webb’s “Rug Life” if we feel the need to take a picture.

While I am still working on my digital addiction, I know it will take time. Granted, this is more self diagnosis than via a health professional, but I know it is something I need to change. Do any of you feel like you have the “selfie shakes” (when you literally start itching to take a selfie)? Let me know in the comments below.