Being Present: Mommyhood Woes

As a proud mom of a toddler, I keep repeating “This is happening too fast! Stop growing!” My little girl is reaching each milestone faster and faster.

It also makes me realize how important it is to be content with your life and the people in it RIGHT now. Too often, we have conditions attached to our happiness. “If I get into school” or “When I get married”. What we forget is to be grateful for what we have NOW.

I remember how when my daughter was first born, I would say “it will get easier later” or “when she gets bigger I will”. But now that she is turning into this beautiful person, I realize how I should have savored her babyhood a little more.

So now, I am more engaged with her. I read her stories (I always have) but I play with her too. I make silly faces. I do very inelegant and unfashionable things just to make her laugh. I want her to remember me as a fun loving mom. Not a mom who was counting the moments to the next milestone.

In a way, I have to thank Allah for giving her as a gift to my life. Because without her, I would have never learned to slow down. So I thank God every chance I get. And I also pray to slow down this rapid growth just a tad too ;).

Time Management

My mom asked me to write a blog post about time management. I thought it was so ironic because as a young child, I would procrastinate all the time.

When I was in the 6th grade, students had all week to write out a sheet of the multiplication tables for each day of the week that were due every Monday. (7 sheets of it for 7 days in a week).

What was 12 year old me doing every Sunday night? 7 sheets of the multiplication tables by hand all in one shot!

As a working mom, I don’t have the luxury of procrastination. Moms NEED to get up early, take care of babies, go to work, take care of their homes and hubbies and some like me, also attend to the needs of in laws too.

While it may sound tiring, I have some tips that I learned along the way:

1) Make time for bed time: if you can stick your child to a regular bed time, try to sleep then too. That way, you can wake up early for fajr prayers (or if you are really lucky tahajjud).

Waking up with enough time to eat breakfast and get ready for work or the rest of your day sets the pace and tone for you. No one can function if they are sleep deprived or hungry.

2) Finish the boring stuff first: One of the worst things is having fun after a long work week during the weekend and then realizing on Sunday that you have to do 2 weeks of laundry! Try to do your errands on Friday or earlier in the weekend so that you have time for some fun stuff too. Let’s face it, would you want to do errands when you have the Sunday blues?

3)Always make time for your kids: Yes, a clean house is lovely. However, sometimes I do ignore messes if it means spending time with my daughter after a long day at work. I have her sing the clean up song with me so the house is not terrible and then we laugh and giggle while reading books.

4) Make small changes: As a procrastinator, I used to pledge BIG promises to myself and then set myself up to fail because it’s too hard to change. Small changes add up in impact over time. One small change I did was do automatic online payments of my bills so I never have to worry about being late on my payments.

Small consistent actions are recommended in Islam. Aisha (ra) narrated that the Prophet (saws) said: “The most beloved actions to Allah are the most consistent ones even if they are few.” (Bukhari)

5) Don’t be too hard on yourself: I used to beat myself up over procrastinating, but I realized that it wasn’t helping me change, but it was holding me back. Embrace that you have this flaw by trying to preemptively do things. If you can’t, it’s okay. Things eventually do get done and life does go on. No one is perfect! I can promise you that I don’t procrastinate like I used to, but I still have a ways to go.

Body Image and Muslim Women

Source: via Jillian on Pinterest

My older sister wanted to share her thoughts about how Muslim women are not immune to unrealistic images of women in the media.

It could not have come at a better time since I have a bully in my life. She, like most bullies, think its okay to tell people unflattering and just mean things. It’s not.

Her latest thing to talk about is my weight. At first, I was hurt. Then I tried to be proactive and watch what I ate and exercise. Then I realized, “Screw this bully!” She probably is cranky because she wishes she could enjoy life like I do! (Plus I really enjoy food and was getting annoyed saying no any time someone offered me something to eat). Here is what my sister said:

“We all have fellow women (and men) who try to impose unrealistic ideals on us. What can we as practicing Muslim women do to help this situation? First we must believe that this body temporarily houses a far more beautiful thing called the soul. How beautiful this soul is depends on our deeds and actions and not some arbitrary thing like genetics. We must believe our bodies are an amanat or trust from Allah and as such must put pure and halal food into it and make sure it’s done in moderation.

We must also make sure we are exercising at least 30 minutes a day. This can be done and maybe sisters can start a walking club. Even sisters at home can do tons of exercise that don’t require special equipment. Learn to love and embrace your self. I read somewhere about stretch marks– I am a tiger that has earned her stripes.”

So I still watch what I eat and exercise, but I would much rather be known for my beautiful soul. And let’s all pray that this bully starts to change and focuses on having a beautiful soul herself.


I have been very busy with work recently. As you know, work season in fall typically means making sure you meet certain goals from earlier in the year. So that means in fall, there is one final push to make those goals a reality.

However, being a mom never stops, so I have been super tired lately. Which got me thinking how ALL moms, stay at home and working moms really should thank Islam for recognizing all the hard work we do.

As I *finally* put my tired swollen feet up for the first time tonight (to go to sleep!), I think how apt the often quoted Hadith of the Prophet (saws) is.

My feet may not be pretty and manicured, but according to the Prophet (saws), they are the heart of a metaphor:

The Prophet Muhammad said, may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him: Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother (Ahmad, Nasai).

So the next time all you moms out there are feeling tired and you need to put your feet up, just remember how special those feet are.