Why Eid ul Adha Makes Me A Better Parent

This post is a little bit late, but I wanted to share my thoughts about this past Eid last week.

Muslims celebrate two holidays. Eid ul Fitr which celebrates the end of Ramadan which is a month of devotion and fasting. And we celebrate Eid ul Adha which honors the sacrifice that Ibrahim (as) was prepared to make.

How many of us would have been willing to sacrifice a child?

In the Quran, Allah (swt) tests Ibrahim (as) by sending a command to sacrifice his son Ismail (as) in a dream. Ibrahim (as) was torn. He was convinced he had to do it, but look at the beauty of the verse in the Quran. In Surah 37 ayah 102:

And when he was old enough to go about and work with him, (one day) Abraham said to him: “My son, I see in my dream that I am slaughtering you. So consider (and tell me) what you think.”

He said: “Do as you are bidden. You will find me, if Allah so wills, among the steadfast.”

While most parents focus on the obedience part of Ismail (as), I noticed that Ibrahim (as) as a parent treated his son as an adult mA. He tells his son about his dream and doesn’t just order that he obeys Allah (swt)’s command, he asks his son “What do you think?”

As a parent, I find it easy to tell my daughter to do something, but it’s a bit more challenging to sit there and explain why.

But in the Quran, it clearly shows that these two Prophets shared a relationship of mutual admiration and trust.

I can only hope that I can aspire to a certain degree of this, but I do know that this particular Eid will always remind me that parenting is not just about ordering your child to do what’s best, but having a real relationship based on mutual trust and affection iA.

I hope you all had a lovely Eid! And please make dua for all of us. I pray that all the Hajjis making their way back have their accepted iA. Stay tuned for fashion tips for curvy hijabis coming soon iA!

Body Image and Muslim Women

Source: google.com via Jillian on Pinterest

My older sister wanted to share her thoughts about how Muslim women are not immune to unrealistic images of women in the media.

It could not have come at a better time since I have a bully in my life. She, like most bullies, think its okay to tell people unflattering and just mean things. It’s not.

Her latest thing to talk about is my weight. At first, I was hurt. Then I tried to be proactive and watch what I ate and exercise. Then I realized, “Screw this bully!” She probably is cranky because she wishes she could enjoy life like I do! (Plus I really enjoy food and was getting annoyed saying no any time someone offered me something to eat). Here is what my sister said:

“We all have fellow women (and men) who try to impose unrealistic ideals on us. What can we as practicing Muslim women do to help this situation? First we must believe that this body temporarily houses a far more beautiful thing called the soul. How beautiful this soul is depends on our deeds and actions and not some arbitrary thing like genetics. We must believe our bodies are an amanat or trust from Allah and as such must put pure and halal food into it and make sure it’s done in moderation.

We must also make sure we are exercising at least 30 minutes a day. This can be done and maybe sisters can start a walking club. Even sisters at home can do tons of exercise that don’t require special equipment. Learn to love and embrace your self. I read somewhere about stretch marks– I am a tiger that has earned her stripes.”

So I still watch what I eat and exercise, but I would much rather be known for my beautiful soul. And let’s all pray that this bully starts to change and focuses on having a beautiful soul herself.

Mommyhood

I have been very busy with work recently. As you know, work season in fall typically means making sure you meet certain goals from earlier in the year. So that means in fall, there is one final push to make those goals a reality.

However, being a mom never stops, so I have been super tired lately. Which got me thinking how ALL moms, stay at home and working moms really should thank Islam for recognizing all the hard work we do.

As I *finally* put my tired swollen feet up for the first time tonight (to go to sleep!), I think how apt the often quoted Hadith of the Prophet (saws) is.

My feet may not be pretty and manicured, but according to the Prophet (saws), they are the heart of a metaphor:

The Prophet Muhammad said, may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him: Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother (Ahmad, Nasai).

So the next time all you moms out there are feeling tired and you need to put your feet up, just remember how special those feet are.

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