Kids Say The Darnest Things

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I am a terrified mother. Why? Because I have a two year old daughter and I noticed that she can repeat anything like a parrot.

Alhamdulillah. She is absorbing a lot of information that she will be able to apply later in her life. However, I am scared that she is trying to absorb too much of what the adults around her do.

I want her to be a good person. But there is no manual to accomplish this. I stubbed my toe and thankfully said ouch, but all day my toddler kept rubbing her toe and saying owwww. What if I said &$?!!’ by accident?

How can I filter what she absorbs? The answer is that I can try, but I can’t do it 100%.

All I can do is keep trying. At least Muslim parents have some guidance in the Quran, Sunnah and the lives of the Companions alhamdullillah.

According to Umar (ra) the rights of children from their parents are:

1) To choose a good mother (or father) for him/her.

2) To select a good name for her/him.

3) To teach him/her the Quran.

For the first one, I actually sat and thought my Hubster would be kind hearted with his future kids when we met for marriage talks. This is because I saw how gentle he was with my own nieces and nephews. He also made sure to spoil his cousin’s children regularly. Mashallah, I am lucky because when I have to discipline my toddler, he tempers that with his warmth and love.

The second one is important too. A name becomes a part of a person. If you give a good Islamic name, you start to embody that name. My name is Minara which is a derivative of minaret which is where the caller of prayer stands. It is interesting because it is now in my nature to call others to the beauty of our deen. I named my daughter Safiya so she can embody the noble qualities that the wife of the Prophet (saws) had. And wouldn’t you know she is very empathetic and fiercely independent mashallah.

Lastly, I am trying to teach her Quran. I am not the best parent, but I am trying. She is only two (today is her birthday!) but I can at least try to teach her Surah Ikhlas.

I hope that Allah (swt) blesses all those Muslim parents out there trying. It’s not easy, but keep trying. Even in the United States, there are people of all faiths trying to stay modest and raise good children to be good people. Just remember that and make lots of dua for you and for me too! 🙂

When Dreams Are Deferred

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Sometimes it’s hard to say why, but you can get afflicted with sadness. During these moments it is best to remember what Allah (swt) tells us about what he promised the people of Musa (as) after they crossed the river and escaped Firawn:
And remember when your Lord made known, “If you are grateful then I will surely increase you but if you are ungrateful then surely My torment is surely severe”.
Surah 14 Ayah 7

Why is that? The people of Musa (as) suffered unspeakable sadness at the hands of Firawn. So instead of letting that sadness etch a bitterness in their hearts, Allah (swt) is giving them an antidote.

Gratitude is the cure of sadness.

I have been noticing that I have been sad because a lot of my own dreams have been deferred. At first I was sad. I mean my dreams are more like wanting to see Allah (swt)’s house during Hajj, or even something mundane as going to Paris.

I realize that Allah (swt) is deferring these dreams and I can’t question that.

However, on a deeper note, I realize that gratitude is important as well. It helps you have more sabr (patience). It helps you realize what your blessings are and prevents us from causing God’s displeasure.

Gratitude helps us stop and appreciate what we have. Here is where I definitely felt like a first world problems (whiny blogger). I am upset about Hajj? What about Syrians losing their family members daily? Or Palestinians not even given their rights to cross a checkpoint to see a doctor? That really puts it in perspective.

Gratitude helps bring more blessings. Allah (swt) promises in that ayah that if you are grateful, Allah (swt) will increase you. The Arabic is beautiful because it does not specify what. This means that Allah (swt) will increase each person in something they need based on their life. How poetic is that? And Allah ( swt) doesn’t specify the punishment for ingratitude, but we should avoid it because who really wants to face Allah (swt)’s anger?

So for the moment, I am turning inward to be more grateful. And you know what? Somehow I don’t feel so sad anymore.